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lost in the world

from singles​/​demos 2014 by beat radio

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about

sometimes it feels like it takes all that you’ve got
just to keep from unraveling
sometimes it feels just like you won the whole goddamned thing

My wife Liz heard this song coming up through the floor boards over and over as i was finishing up tracking it in our basement. I came up after recording the vocals the other night, and she said “that sounds like an old-school Brian song.” I guess she’s right, although I’m not sure if she said it for the same reasons I’m thinking. It’s pretty direct, earnest, and plainly autobiographical, which is a style i used a lot more when i was first starting out. For me, it’s the kind of song that is the most uncomfortable to write, and to put out into the world. I didn’t feel like I had a choice though, I felt compelled to say the things that this song says, and to say them in a way that wasn’t guarded or obscured.

I was originally going to call this song “this song is called everything matters” which related to something I’ve been turning over in my mind a lot lately. I think I’m generally happier and in a better state of mind than i was when i was writing the last record. One of the things I’m trying to express is the idea that things are always sort of complicated. You can be happy and sad at the same time. Things can matter, and not matter. In pop music there’s a tendency to simplify those sort of things - like “this is a happy song” or “this is a darker sad kind of song.” And that’s always sort of a lie, isn’t it? I guess one of the things I’m realizing as I get older, and as my life grows fuller, is that it’s okay to feel like a wreck sometimes, and it’s okay to feel like you’re the fucking champ. Sometimes you feel both at the same time. Just try and feel it, and stay in the moment, and you’ll sort of be ok.

lyrics

so we never got famous
and we never left home
there were times when i was lonely
i was never alone
and all my friends got tired
everybody moves on
i always seemed to find a reason and i
i kept singing songs
some were borne of imitation
of the people i admired
some were borne of pure ambition
others borne of desire
some were borne of a compulsion
or an irrational fear
that if i didn’t get it all down i would somehow disappear

sometimes it feels like it takes all that you’ve got
just to keep from unraveling
sometimes it feels just like you won the whole goddamned thing

i used to want to make a record
just to know i was alive
it took a while for me to figure out my own way to survive
the only virtue is irreverence
claim your own authority
and never let yourself get bitter
don’t forget that you are free
take a moment to remember you’re alive and you’re awake
take your time to look around you
take your time to make mistakes
there’s something infinite inside you
that no one else can ever know
there is is stillness and a silence
a place where no one else can go

sometimes it feels like you get lost in the world
and you’re tired of wandering
sometimes if feels just like you won the whole goddamned thing

credits

from singles​/​demos 2014, track released January 7, 2014
written, performed and recorded by brian sendrowitz

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Singer Songwriter Brian Sendrowitz has been crafting heartfelt, literate pop songs as Beat Radio since 2005.

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